Postcards from the Past: Guatemala (My Journey to Fatherhood)

Land of The Eternal Spring

When and Where: 08/2002 – Guatemala City

03/2003 – Guatemala City, Lake Atitlan, Chichicastenango

05/2004 – Guatemala City, Antigua

30^th Country Visited; 10^th North American Country Visited

Interesting Facts:

- With 18.5 million citizens, Guatemala is the most populous country in Central America.

- The quetzal, the national bird of Guatemala, also appears on the flag and the currency.

My life forever changed 20 years ago this month when I first met Willian Alexander Hernandez-Cardona. Known as Aaron William Pipito today, I first held him on March 3, 2003 in Guatemala City when he was only 30 days old. My journey to adopt was long and complicated. In trying to make a difference in one person’s life, my life was changed for the better.

Back in 2002 after my failed attempt to adopt, my Philadelphia-based adoption agency began placing Guatemalan children after Romania ended all international adoptions. Frustrated with the ups and downs associated with the Romanian adoption, I looked at Guatemala as a fresh start. Late on a Thursday evening in August of 2022, I arrived in Guatemala City for a 36-hour visit prepared to meet a 2 ½ year-old Guatemalan child that was available for adoption. I woke up early Friday morning ready to meet the child. The head of my adoption agency, Robert, called me while I was getting dressed. He informed me that the child I was to meet had been placed with another family. Robert assured me my trip wasn’t in vain and that a contact of his, Guillermo, would be picking me up at my hotel and bringing me to an orphanage he runs in the city. By 9am, Guillermo picked me up at my hotel and a short time later, he was showing me around the orphanage. There were roughly 100 babies under the age of 1, all in cribs with minimal attention from the staff. Guillermo would bring me from crib to crib, tell me the child’s name and give me a brief history of the circumstances as to why the child was orphaned. After showing me 8 children, he asked, “Which child do you want to adopt?” I was unprepared to make a decision on the spot. I felt like I was being shown around a kennel and asked to pick a puppy. The whole situation felt very wrong to me. Guillermo began to grow frustrated and asked again, “Which child do you want to adopt?” He left me alone outside his office to ponder my options. While waiting, a newborn came in to the orphanage. I heard the attendant say the child was born on August 18, a week prior. My mom’s birthday was August 18, so I took that as a sign I should adopt this child, Juan Carlos Perez-Gomez. That day, I signed the paperwork and thus began the process for my second adoption attempt. The next morning, I flew back home with adoption paperwork in hand. I was assured the process to adopt should only take about 6 months. As the months ticked by, the process was moving along. In February 2003, my case was in the final stage. And then I received a call from Robert on a Monday morning in late February. Juan Carlos’ mother had reclaimed him at the orphanage; or at least that is what I was told.

After two failed adoption attempts, two years of living on an emotional rollercoaster and thousands of dollars spent trying to adopt, I was at a crossroads. Do I try again or do I give up? I was on the fence. At this same time, I was venting about my adoption journey on a chat board: an adoption website where people would share their adoption stories in real time. On the chat board, a producer from The Hallmark Channel reached out to me. Hallmark had a show called “Adoptions” at that time. The producer asked if I would consider my journey being chronicled by the Hallmark Channel. The show “Adoptions” featured various family types. My case was unusual as I was a single man adopting. I agreed to have the producer chronicle my journey if I give adoption another go.

In early March of 2003, Robert reached out to me with options. I decided to give it one more try. If the next attempt failed, I was done. I expressed a desire to adopt an older child, somewhere between 2.5 and 3.5 years. I also talked to my agency about The Hallmark Channel’s interest in chronicling my journey. Robert wasn’t keen on my involving the Hallmark Channel and felt it may jeopardize my chances to adopt. But ultimately it was my decision. Accompanied by Lisa F Jackson, an Emmy winning documentary film maker, I flew back to Guatemala on March 12, 2003. I knew I was going to be meeting four children. What I didn’t know is that the children ranged in age from 7 days old to 2 months old. Up early the morning of March 13, I met up with Lisa for breakfast and discussed a game plan. Lisa and I were brought to a home in Guatemala City where four foster mothers with four babies were waiting in the garage. Lisa began filming. I looked at the children and I knew in my heart I would be choosing the third child, Willian. One by one, the babies were handed to me. Lisa asked me to take notes after I held each child. I did, however there wasn’t much to write about babies. Along the way, Lisa grew agitated with me as she cared more about the story than my success at adoption. When Willian was handed to me, I felt certain that he was the child I wanted to adopt. After our visit, Lisa and I returned to the hotel. She was causing me a great deal of anxiety and I began to question my decision to bring her along. Later that evening, Robert reached out to me and asked me if I wanted to see Willian again. I agreed. I did not let Lisa know as I didn’t want the second experience to be filled with anxiety. The next morning, I snuck away from my hotel and was whisked away to the home of the foster mother. I spent about an hour with Willian, before returning to my hotel room. Lisa was pissed that I didn’t include her the second day. However, she did film me that afternoon at Plaza de la Constitucion, the central square in Guatemala City. The experience was awkward. There was an anti-American protest nearby in the square. People were chanting and burning a cloth depiction of Uncle Sam. Lisa’s filming drew unwelcome attention to me. Two protestors ran over to me and grabbed me by the arm. They were screaming at me in Spanish. Lisa, who speaks Spanish fluently, rushed over and chased them away.

While in Guatemala, Lisa wanted to meet up with another documentary film maker who was documenting the atrocities of the Guatemalan civil war which took place from 1960 to 1996. The next day, Lisa rented a car and we drove from Guatemala City to Lake Atitlan. We drove during the early evening, and the conditions were poor. We navigated cliffs, pothole filled roads, and dense fog. We were offered a home to stay while at the Lake. The house had no running water, no toilet and no electricity. The view from the home was stunning. Lake Atitlan, the deepest lake in Central America was formed by a volcanic eruption more than 80,000 years ago. The primitive looking lake is surrounded by volcanoes and sleepy communities. It is one of the most picturesque lakes I’ve ever seen. Lisa met up with her friend and the three of us had dinner together lakeside. The next morning, we met up with her friend for breakfast. Her friend suggested me meet a shaman he knew in Chichicastenango, a nearby city. According to Lisa’s friend, the shaman could predict the future. Lisa thought meeting with the shaman could add an interesting twist to my story. I reluctantly went along. We arrived at the shaman’s home and met with his family. He offered us some tea. Before he started his ceremony, the shaman had his wife bring their kids into another room. The shaman sat next to a statue of Maximon, a Mayan god. He began burning leaves and arranging bones and rocks on the concrete floor. I sat across from the shaman and asked him if I would be successful adopting. Lisa translated. When the shaman was done, he told me I would not successfully. Frustrated, Lisa changed the story through a narrator, as I wouldn’t lie about what was told to me. Lisa also spun the story about the shaman as if it was my idea. As if I would somehow have known of a shaman in rural Guatemala. On the three-hour drive back to Guatemala City, Lisa and I barely spoke. Back at the hotel, I met the attorney who would be representing me in the adoption petition. I signed the documentation to begin the process. The next morning, Lisa and I flew home to the US. The following month, the Guatemalan government shut down international adoption. Given my two failed adoptions, I wasn’t optimistic about a successful outcome.

For months, Willian languished in foster care. Although I know he had a sweet loving foster mother, it wasn’t the same as being in a permanent home. In October, The Hallmark Channel aired my story, even though the story was not complete. By November 2003, Guatemala once again began processing international adoption petitions. Before my application would be approved, the government official began requesting ridiculous documentation. I had to get a notarized letter from a woman acknowledging I had sex with women. I knew my exes weren’t going to cooperate. My dear friend Mary stepped up and wrote a letter acknowledging and praising my sexual prowess. I was grateful for Mary, but at the same time quite embarrassed. Next, I was asked to get a notarized letter from my doctor indicating I didn’t need Viagra to perform. My doctor stepped up and wrote the letter for me. Finally, in April 2023, my case was given the green light. Willian’s birthmother, Delmy Hernandez-Cardona had to provide a DNA sample to the US Embassy. Willian also provided a DNA sample that was handled by the US Department of Immigration and Citizenship Services. Once the DNA samples matched, Delmy had to go to the US Embassy in Guatemala City, and sign away her parental rights. Finally, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

On May 3, 2003, I left Philadelphia to fly to Guatemala City by way of Los Angeles. I was on a red-eye flight for the Los Angeles to Guatemala City segment. As usual, I barely slept. I arrived at roughly 5:30am and headed to the Holiday Inn Express in the city. The plan was to meet the foster mother, Olga Deras, at 7:30am at the hotel. She planned to spend the entire day with me helping me feed him and change diapers. Just before the meeting time, Olga showed up with Willian. She brought along a photo album she created over the 14 months she raised him. About 10 minutes later, we stood up facing each other with Willian in her arms. We were instructed to embrace with Willian between us. Then she stepped back leaving Willian in my arms. His first reaction was to whimper. Olga gently touched his lips and he stopped. He immediately clung to me as if I was always his father. By 9am, we were at the American embassy filling out the required paperwork to finalize Willian’s passport. Olga wasn’t able to stay with me for the day as she grew emotional. Later in the afternoon, Willian and I went back to the US Embassy to get his passport. We remained in Guatemala for three additional days as I booked the flights further out in case I encountered issues. On the third day, we toured Antigua, a beautiful town at the foot of a volcano that was once the capital of Guatemala. Today, Antigua is the cultural capital of Guatemala. On Thursday May 6, Aaron and I headed for Guatemala’s La Aurora International Airport. We boarded the United Airlines flight bound for San Jose, Costa Rica. I used miles to get a first class seat. Aaron was a lap passenger so he didn’t need a seat. As we began to roll down the runway for takeoff, Aaron began to whimper. I calmed him. Tears welled up in my eyes. As we left the ground, I finally felt like I was free. The adoption was complete.

We arrived in San Jose Costa Rica for a six-hour layover before our nonstop flight to Philadelphia. About an hour into our layover, I heard my name being called over the public address system. I walked over to the gate and forfeited our passports to the gate agent. I’m sure the two of traveling together with differing nationality passports raised some questions. After a half-hour without passports, I began to grow fearful. Finally, an hour later, our passports were returned with no further questions asked. We boarded the Philadelphia bound flight around 4pm. Only about 15 of the 130 seats were occupied. While I briefly napped, two flight attendants watched a movie with Willian. Upon arrival in Philadelphia, we were taken to a private area of customs where in a brief ceremony, Willian was granted US citizenship. Once cleared, a group of my friends met me at baggage claim with signs, balloons and stuffed animals. In the coming months, Willian Alexander’s name was changed to Aaron William. And the rest is history. For me, adoption was about changing the life of one person. Twenty years later, I realize that adoption made me a better man.